The YELLING must stop!!! 30 day Challenge

Ok, so I know I haven't posted in this blog in a REALLY long time, but I actually mentioned it last night to the girls in our youth group at church and found myself itching to write something!  So here goes!

I recently came across a link to this blog article on a friend's facebook page and found myself feeling guilty, sad and suddenly determined all at the same time.

Perhaps I should back up a bit.  I am a yeller.... there I said it.  I yell (a lot) and I come by it honestly, I come from a long line of yellers; my mother was a yeller, my maternal grandmother IS a yeller, my paternal grandmother was a yeller, my aunt on my father's side..... you guessed it, she's a yeller too.  One could say that I didn't stand a chance, it's coded into my DNA, I'm a yeller.  Well that's pretty much what I thought too, until today (I'll explain later).  My mother seems to have mellowed out in her latter years (although the fact that she doesn't have three dueling children under her roof may have something to do with that) and I haven't heard her yell in quite some time, but me on the other hand, I seem to be getting worse as the years pass by.  Part of this is probably due to the fact that I'm almost 39 years old and I have a 5 year old at home, by the time my Mother was my age all her children were at least in middle school (you are not buying my excuses are you?  Yeah I didn't think so).  Well no matter the reason, my yelling seems to be getting worse instead of better.  Last year while teaching my daughter pre-kindergarten at home I would find myself getting frustrated with her for some trivial reason (how dare her spill something on the kitchen floor RIGHT after I mopped it or not remember that the letter G does not make the ja sound) and I'd find myself in a cycle of yelling, guilt, hug, promise.  I'd get upset, yell and get all of my frustration out, feel guilty, hug my child and promise never to yell again.  One day not too long ago, I was getting ready to head to school with my daughter and stepped outside onto the porch with the dog only to hear the door shut behind me and realize that my little princess had not only shut the door behind us, but locked it also.  I quickly panicked as I realized that my keys were of course inside and we were locked out.  Normally this wouldn't have been THAT big of an issue because my mother lives right next door and has a spare key to our house, but she wasn't home and therefore not available to rescue us.  So there I was locked out, no way in, dog is outside with us (with no leash mind you) and I blew my top.  I started yelling at my daughter about how I couldn't believe she had been so careless, and what was she thinking when suddenly, through those precious big green eyes filled with tears my daughter said to me "Mommy you promised you were not going to yell anymore", and even in that moment when I was being confronted by my child, I made excuses.  "I know, but that is just ridiculous that you don't pay attention to what you are doing".....
Yeah just typing that puts a lump in my throat, ugh. 

Yesterday I ran across the blog article entitled The Important Thing About Yelling and it felt like I'd been stabbed in the heart.  I felt guilty for what I had done to my child, sad that I had taught her that the only way to express her frustration or disappointment was to yell and determined to do something about it. 
I mean really, what does it mean that I feel like I'm entitled to raise my voice to tower over my child, or husband and inflict emotional pain and fear onto them simply because I chose to stay up too late watching Grey's Anatomy on Netflix and I'm tired in the morning, or because I have a big fat ugly zit on my forehead and it's put me in a bad mood? (Come on, I know I'm not alone there)
So I followed the blog link to the original Orange Rhino Challenge and read the entire post, plus the supporting posts from all the links all in one sitting.  I knew right away this was going to be a challenge for me, but it is something I feel I owe my precious daughter, my amazing husband, and myself.

This is NOT going to be easy, I may fail (temporarily) but I am determined!
The original Orange Rhino Challenge is for a year of no yelling.  I'm a here and now kinda gal, a year from now seems like an eternity.  So I'm going to start with 30 days.  I am committing to doing my very best to restrain from yelling for 30 days.  So, who's with me?
If you are yourself a yeller and would like to take this 30 day challenge with me I'd love to hear from you, the more people we have that we can network together and support each other, the better our success will be!

So... what's the plan you ask?  First and foremost I will cover this entire endeavor with prayer.  I believe wholeheartedly in Philippians 4:13 I can do ALL things through Christ who gives me strength!
Next, I have downloaded the Tracking My Triggers WorkSheet from the Orange Rhino challenge and plan to start tracking what, when, where and how I am yelling.  Knowledge is power right?  I figure if I know what is making me yell, and how I can prevent the yelling then it will making it that much easier right?  Well that's my theory anyways!
I am also going to be posting a link to this blog post on my personal FB page.  Yes, I'm being honest when I say that scares the be-jeebers out of me.  I have lots of people in my life that may be surprised to learn that I have this (along with many other hidden) character flaw.  It's not something one brags about, "Yeah, that's me, yelling like a banshee when things don't go my way"......   Although friends and facebook peeps are generally safe, I tend to save the worst of the worst for the ones I love the best of the best (can I get a witness?)  I want my facebook friends, my blogger friends and anyone else to rally around me and let's support each other in this endeavor.  Change is hard, but it is not impossible.
And lastly, I will be sitting my kiddo and my husband down and sharing with them my plan.  They are the two most important earthly people in my life, I want them to think of me as a kind person who takes care of them both physically and emotionally, not the one to be feared and avoided depending on my mood.

I'll be checking in about once a week to give you an update on my progress as well as my setbacks and challenges.  Thanks for taking the time to read and I hope to hear from you soon :)

Be blessed sweet yellers :)